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fter leaving an arranged marriage, I met someone new and we got married. My son from my previous marriage and I moved in with my new husband and his family. However, my mother-in-law never accepted me and constantly interfered in our lives.When my new husband started abusing me, alcohol misuse was one of the triggers. He forced me to drink with him, then would rape and assault me while we were both intoxicated. My eldest son, now a professional boxer, eventually left home.
The abuse escalated over time, and my husband gained complete financial control over me.
Despite being a qualified nurse and working hard, often doing overtime, I had no control over my money. I began using alcohol as a coping mechanism.
One day, after an assault, I overdosed. While I was in the hospital, my husband lied to the police, claiming that I had assaulted him. He even convinced our son to support his story. Although I didn’t disclose the abuse, the Adult Safeguarding Team noticed my bruises and advised me not to return home. I felt like I had no choice.
My sister tried to intervene, but my husband told her he wanted me dead so he could have the house. He emptied my bank account, and when I confronted him, he assaulted me and threw me out of the house. I was hospitalised for a week due to my injuries.
I arrived at The Haven feeling sick and depressed, withdrawn, and unable to make my own decisions. The staff there provided emotional support, and I finally felt a sense of relief: “No more mind games. Nothing is disappearing from my room.”
Although I missed my youngest son, I still struggled with alcohol abuse and had multiple relapses while at The Haven. I was hospitalized more than once, but professionals worked together to find the best way to support me.
Now, I have regained control over my finances and am working again. With the help of an independent domestic violence advisor and a resettlement/outreach support worker, I have been able to rent my own flat.
I am currently going through a divorce, which is incredibly stressful. My husband has asked me to give him access to our son if I insist on divorcing him and has even threatened to take his own life if I leave him. Despite this, I feel stronger now and believe that I have the right support at The Haven to continue pursuing my divorce.
I have received a Decree Nisi and am hopeful that I can move on with my life soon.
Naz’s name has been changed to protect her identity. Images are for illustration purposes only.
