BLOG | Stronger, than yesterday – Jade Secker

Sometimes I run, sometimes I hide, sometimes I’m scared of you but all I really want is to hold you tight, for you to treat me right but I have to be with you day and night, you have all the power and control, this relationship is so toxic. I feel like I am a slave for you, I have to do everything your way, you treat me like your Cinderella. If I do something wrong I fear the consequences, I am constantly walking on eggshells with a womanizer, Never knowing if I should try to break the ice, or would you hold it against me? You belittle me and tell me I was born to make YOU happy… I just want better for me and my children.

You have broken me down and control every piece of me. You scream and shout, and say “sometimes you really DRIVE ME CRAZY.” You make my body ache. You tell me how much you love me, but then you continue to hit me one more time. When it is over, you always say, oops I did it again, you tell me how much you love me and it’s just because you’re overprotective. You say I should consider myself lucky, other boys would never love me. Everytime I try to Run Away from your circus you tell me I am outrageous and I could never be better without you. I am so lonely.

A friend told me about The Haven today. They helped me realise I can’t make you love me the way I deserve to be loved, and that what you are doing is not right. Your treatment is not out of care or love, it’s a criminal offence, I deserve better. I am staying with The Haven in their refuge now. They are going to help me take control of my life and be happy. They said, they will be there, they taught me self love and self worth.

Now… I am stronger.

Written by Jade Secker – Fundraising Manager at The Haven who has been at the organisation for nearly 7 years. Jade says; “As a big Britney fan I couldn’t miss the opportunity to highlight the links and similarities between her lyrics, her ongoing conservatorship and Domestic Abuse.”

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