Safety Planning (Leaving an abusive relationship)

When considering leaving a violent relationship you will have many questions and apprehensions about what will happen next.

When devising a Safety Plan (or Escape Plan) these are some of the things you should consider:

You should know where to go and what to do in an emergency.

You should call 999 in the event of an emergency.

• Teach your children what to do in an emergency. Call 999 and give address.
• An escape route out of your house.
• Where is the nearest working phone box.
• Have any bruises or injuries recorded by a doctor for future use in any legal proceedings, rehousing procedures etc.

"Where can I go?"

Be prepared! Know your your local services:

• Local refuges/hostels
• National Women's aid Number
• Homeless family unit (council)
• Social Services/Out of hours Social Services
• Solicitors

"What do I take with me?"

If you are leaving your home you will need identification. This will be important in trying to apply for benefits, accessing housing and legal proceedings. It is also a good idea to do this gradually as not to draw attention from the perpetrator. Do not endanger yourself further if you can get out. These items are useful but not worth putting yourself at further risk.

• Child benefit/Benefit books
• Passport
• Birth certificate
• Full driving license

If possible you should have at least two forms of identification for yourself if not covered by the above items:

• Medical cards
• Bills
• Tenancy agreement
• Letters addressed to yourself
• Library card

Pack a small bag if possible - try to include the following items if you need them:

• Medicine
• Underwear
• Nappies/bottle
• Photos
• Children's favorite toy

Additional measures:

Is there anyone else whom you could involve who you can trust? If someone else knows of your plans this can be added safety measures, BUT this must be someone you can trust - maybe:

• Head teacher/form teacher
• Neighbour
• Employer

Before leaving:

• If the last number you dialled from your phone was a taxi company, refuge or the place where you are going, dial another one before you go - for example, the Speaking Clock (1234) - then your abuser cannot press redial and find out where you have gone to.
• Do not leave pieces of paper with numbers/addresses on.
• Remember that writing is imprinted through more than one page on a jotter/note pad.

Other useful information:

Free Helpline Numbers for Orange phone users - You can call more than 240 charity and helpline numbers (supported by the Telephone Helplines Association) free of charge from any Organge phone. Please note that you'll need to have credit on your phone if you are a pay-as-you-go customer, although you won't be charged for the call. Calls to these charities and helplines will not appear on your bill, enabling you to seek help or advice with a greater degree of anonymity. Click here to find out more.

Metropolitan Police Advice - Click to download

Home Affiars Committee eConsultation

Your views are wanted by Parliament's Home Affairs Select Committee eConsultation. As part of its investigation into domestic violence, including forced marriaged and 'honour-based' violence, they want to hear from victims and survivors about their experiences to help them to improve services. What you tell them will form part of the Committee's recommendations to the Government.

Take part! Click here to go to the eConsultation site
Download flyer about the eConsultation

Case Studies

Click here to read more about the experiences of women who have been helped by The Haven Wolverhampton.

If you have been helped by The Haven, and want to include your story on our website, please email it to info@havenrefuge.org.uk. Names and personal details will be changed in order to protect your identity.