Sally met her partner when she was 15 years old. She was training at college, doing silver service catering, but soon stopped attending her course because of her partners disapproval. The couple soon moved in together, but did not get married. At 15 Sally suffered black eyes and was repeatedly punched and slapped – this carried on for 22 years!

What her partner said, went! Her son, Stuart, often heard the couple arguing which used to upset him. Sally’s partner never touched Stuart, but he shouted at him a lot.

Sally states that there was often no way of predicting her partners behaviour. Sometimes he would turn and throw his dinner up the wall if he thought it hadn’t been cooked right. When Sally left the house he would often ask ‘Where have you been?’, ‘how long were you there?’, ‘who did you talk to on the way back from the shop?’. He was very jealous and possessive and had total control.

Sally would often cower in the corner pleading ‘no, no, no, don’t beat me!’. He would beat her body, but not her face. She still has the scar on her leg where he used a broken beer can to cut her skin. There were times when Sally would be struck with the wooden panels from the airing cupboard, whipped with the kettle lead and there were even times when Sally was forced to strip naked and  outside on the freezing balcony.

There were always excuses – ‘I didn’t mean to do it’ or ‘You made me do it’
                                                                                                                
The police did get involved once – Sally let her partners name slip when in hospital after a particularly bad injury to her leg. However she didn’t take it any further as she knew that there would be terrible repercussions. Sally states ‘I knew they would just take him away over night, then he would be back the next day beating me twice as hard’.

Sally would often lay in bed awake, fearful of her partners next move. ‘I dreaded the key going in the door, I’d be shaking with fear, just wondering what would he do next?’

Sally often wonders what other people must have thought ‘I know lots of people will be reading this saying ‘you should have just left’ but I know that he wouldn’t have ever left me or Stuart alone. With a reasonable man you could say ‘no, I don’t want you coming round here anymore’ but I know if I had said that to him he would have just kicked the door down. I was terrified that he would take it out on my son.’

Sally’s partner worked but did not give any of his wages to Sally for rent or to look after their son. Sally had to scrimp and save, her furniture was second hand and Stuart would often have to go without new clothes or toys.

Sally states ‘suddenly I got to the stage where I felt brave! Something clicked inside my head and I just thought ‘this is enough!’ I knew I was ready to go.

So one Monday morning Sally stood with her son in a phone booth trying to find a place to stay. ‘I was a nervous wreck waiting’ said Sally. Then Sally got through to The Haven and was told there was space for her and her son. She packed as much as she could, took Stuart out of School and waited for a taxi to pick them up.

‘And just like that I left! Left that big black cloud behind me!’

And then I went, left that big black cloud behind me, left it in Walsall.

With the support of The Haven, Sally left in October and was settled into a new home by January.

It was tough on Sally and Stuart – they have to leave behind their friends, family and dog behind, and Stuart had to change his School. Stuart has now developed anger issues, he is receiving support from Base 25, but Sally firmly believes he gets it from his father!

Sally does things now she never thought she would. In her own words she states ‘I was so shy and timid before, a total quivering wreck! But not anymore! My money is my money now, I don’t owe anybody! The Haven has been absolutely brilliant – if it hadn’t been for their support and help, the situation could have been really different. But there’s no chance of that happening now. The counselling helps, makes sense of things – he’s the bad person, not me’.

Sally, 2009

Kat- Every year, hundreds of women from minority backgrounds suffer Domestic Violence at the hands of their husbands and other close relatives. For a large majority their insecure immigration status means that they are extremely vulnerable to abusive partners.

In 2002 a domestic violence rule in immigration law stated that if a person married or living with a partner could prove domestic assault then he/she could remain in the UK indefinitely. However, for a significant number of women, the existence of the ‘no recourse to public funds’ requirement in immigration and welfare law prevents women making use of this domestic violence rule because they cannot access safe housing or benefits to escape violence.

The Haven Wolverhampton has the capacity to financially support one woman with no recourse to public funds at any one time. In previous years The Haven received funding to support up to three women with no recourse to public funds, however funding from social services was withdrawn and now The Haven supports one woman using its own budget.

In late 2007 Glaswegian police referred a lady with no recourse to public funds to The Haven Wolverhampton. Kat was 21 years old when she entered into an arranged marriage in India. Although she had never met her future husband she hoped that in time love would grow between them and the marriage would end in a ‘happy ever after’. She wished for a loving husband and hoped to start a family.

Kat spent 4 years with her husband in their home in Scotland which they shared with her mother-in-law. Her husband was kind at first, but just a year into the marriage – the abuse began. Kat’s husband did not want his wife to leave the house. She had no friends and was not allowed to leave in order to get a job or socialise. He would often beat her until she was black and blue and her eyes were swollen. It was not just her husband that perpetrated such abuse, on occasions her mother-in-law would also be violent towards her.

Then in 2007 Kat found out she was pregnant. What should have been a happy joyous occasion turned into one of panic, distress and fear. Kat’s husband refused to believe that she was pregnant. He told her that she hadn’t become pregnant in their three years of marriage and so there was no reason for him to believe she was pregnant now. As a result Kat’s husband and mother-in-law refused to let her see a doctor and Kat suffered a miscarriage.

Upset, depressed and hurt from the miscarriage Kat decided that she had had enough – she needed to tell someone about the abuse she had suffered over the last 3 years. She decided that as soon as her husband and mother-in-law had left the house she would go to her neighbour. She proceeded to tell her neighbour everything and used their telephone to call her family abroad.

However, when she returned home she found her husband and mother-in-law waiting for her. ‘Where have you been?’ he balled ‘I told you not to leave the house’ as he raised his hands to her. Kat then found the strength to say ‘Don’t hit me! I can’t live with you anymore.’
Her husband reacted ferociously and dragged her into the street shouting ‘You’re going to get out of this house’. He then proceeded to beat and kick her in the middle of the street.

The neighbours witnessed everything that had gone on in the street and called the police. When help arrived, Kat’s husband was immediately arrested and taken away.

The police bought Kat to Wolverhampton, where she had family, and passed details of her case onto staff at The Haven Wolverhampton. Staff initially approached her regarding support with her court case against her husband. She received financial and emotional support from floating support workers at The Haven as she had to travel to and from Scotland for the hearing.

As soon as the trial came to an end Kat started to feel as though she was becoming a burden on her family in Wolverhampton. She approached staff at The Haven and asked if there was any space for her in one of the refuges.

In early 2008 Kat moved into one of the Haven’s hostels. As soon as she pulled up in a taxi with her belongings she felt the warmth and support of the staff as they helped her with her bags. She hadn’t felt such support before.

Kat now gets all the things she needs – food, her own room, friends, stability and a safe environment away from violence. She feels happy and relaxed – she is allowed to go out and socialise with the new friends she has made, something she never had the opportunity to do before. She considers the Haven refuge her home as opposed to a domestic violence shelter and the residents her new family. She still has contact with her family in India who are happy that she has finally found happiness.

She is also working with support workers pursuing her application for indefinite leave to remain. At first Kat was under the belief that her in-laws had already made an application for leave to remain on her behalf due to the fact that they had taken her passport. She was told that her passport had been sent to the Home Office. It was later found that Kat’s in-laws had never made an application and that they were keeping hold of her passport. However, with the intervention of a solicitor the passport was retrieved and the application was put forward.

Despite an average application process time of one year, Haven workers feel Kat has a good chance of being granted indefinite leave to remain as she has sufficient evidence to prove she experienced Domestic Violence including photographic evidence, witness statements and police and hospital reports.

Since March 2008 The Haven Wolverhampton has spent nearly £6000 to support Kat. Due to the expense of supporting women with no recourse to public funds many women who come to The Haven looking for a place to live have to sadly be turned away. Because there is limited help for these women many choose to stay with their abusive partners and risk their happiness, their well-being and their lives.

March 2008

Lyn had suffered from Domestic Violence for many years. Finally the situation reached its peak when Lyn became fearful for her life and that of her sons. She approached a voluntary organisation in her area asking for their help to escape from the violence. As her life was in danger within her borough, she was referred to The Haven Wolverhampton, which was able to accommodate Lyn and her 12 year old son in one of their supported hostels. A support plan was completed on Lyn’s arrival to assist us in identifying the areas that Lyn and her son needed support:-

• To secure and maintain own tenancy
• To access further education
• To access and secure eligible benefits
• To access Counselling Services for Lyn and her son
• Assist in locating and enrolling Lyn’s son in school.

Lyn was allocated her own Key Worker to assist her with achieving the goals she had set herself, in particular, to build her confidence and to help her re-gain some of the independence and self worth that she had lost through the years of abuse. It was also imperative at this early stage for her son to engage in counselling to help him make sense of everything that had happened, as he witnessed much of the abuse. In turn, it was just as important for Lyn, as the abuse she suffered from left her “broken” and stripped of her natural rights.

Lyn was supported by hostel staff to complete the necessary paperwork to enable her to access her own secure tenancy and benefits. In addition, Lyn was supported to look around the schools in the locality so she could enrol her son and prevent further disruption to his schooling. In the short time that Lyn was in the hostel, she was able to start working through the many issues that come with being a victim of Domestic Violence.After being in the hostel for 3 months, Lyn had secured her own home, our Resettlement Worker assisted Lyn in applying for a Community Care Grant to adequately furnish her home, as she fled with minimal belongings. Lyn was also able to access our donations of furniture and curtains. Through working with Lyn, our Resettlement Worker recognised that Lyn would need further help in establishing social contacts and activities and also support in accessing other services. Floating Support Services started to work with Lyn in achieving the goals that she had set herself. Lyn took steps to access some voluntary work and to look at Community Education opportunities.

Unfortunately, Lyn’s father passed away not long after she secured her tenancy. Lyn found it difficult to cope with his passing, and became very concerned about her mother’s future, as her mother has schizophrenia and her father was her main carer. At this stage, the support offered by the Floating Support Team intensified to help Lyn deal with her bereavement and in dealing with all the necessary arrangements with regards to her mother’s future care. Following the funeral, Lyn made the decision to move her mother in with her and her son and become her carer. This was a difficult time for the family, as this move had thrown up many barriers that Lyn had to go through in order to have this move formalised.

Due to Lyn’s mother moving from one borough to another, her case had to be referred to the local Mental Health Team and also Adult Social Services for assessment. This was done with full support from her Floating Support Worker. Lyn’s Floating Support Worker had to notify her social landlord, as her property is only meant for Lyn and her son. Lyn was advised to apply for a bigger house but felt another move at this time would be too much for her, for her son and most importantly, her mother. This decision was supported by her Floating Support Worker, as the family had already suffered enough unrest and to move house again would have been quite deleterious for the family unit. Fortunately, Lyn was able to turn one of her rooms into a bedroom for her mother. This enabled her mother to access the downstairs toilet facilities, as she was unable to climb the stairs. The Council agreed to this arrangement and Lyn’s mother was finally settled into her daughter’s home.

Just as things started to settle down for Lyn, her son was suspended from school for his behaviour. Lyn believes that it was only a matter of time before this happened, as her son had witnessed much of the Domestic Violence and had also been deeply affected by the death of his grand-father. Lyn’s Floating Support Worker was on hand to provide the much needed emotional support, as Lyn became seriously concerned for her son’s future education opportunities. After the suspension from school, Lyn’s son got into trouble with the police. As a result of this, he was brought to the attention of the Youth Offending Team, who enrolled him on a 6 week Anger Management Course. This proved to be a positive for her son, as he has since completed his course and addressed his own behaviour. He has since had counselling through his school and has also been allocated a One-To-One Mentor. Overall, due to this input from the Youth Offending Team and the One-To-One Mentor, Lyn’s son has settled into his school work and maintained a positive outlook regarding his schooling and his future.

Lyn is now very independent within her community and has a Carer coming in to see her mother on a regular basis to allow Lyn some time to herself. Lyn has enrolled on a course at one of the local community learning centres and volunteers for a local charity organisation. Lyn still continues to access her Floating Support Worker and speaks very highly of the support that she has received through The Haven Wolverhampton; in Lyn’s own words, the Haven has been a life changing experience for her, as she has been supported to achieve her dreams and aspirations that otherwise would have been denied were she still in the Domestic Violence environment.

Permission to publish this case study was granted by the service users. Consent has been gained from the individual to publish this story.

The Haven Wolverhampton
January 2007

Louise - My name is Louise and I am 36 years old. I met David in 1995. At that time everything was wonderful and eventually we moved in together in February 1996. David controlled all our household bills, which I was happy about. However, over time he was becoming more and more controlling and abusive. He then explained that he needed all of my wages to help pay towards the running of the house. I soon began to realise that I had lost all control of my own finances. When I asked for some money, he would be quite reluctant to give me any. I would have to explain why and what I needed it for. That would then cause arguments and he would get very angry and tell me to leave the house. I would walk around aimlessly until I felt that it was ok to go back home, knowing that he would have calmed down a little and would let me back in. If I needed money to buy a present for a family member on a special occasion he would get very irate saying we had bills to pay but yet I couldn’t understand why he could afford to buy presents for his own family.

In April 1996, I became very depressed and began taking anti depressants prescribed by my doctor. Things seemed out of control and I didn’t know why. I took an overdose of my medication as I felt so alone and didn’t know there was anyone to help. I went to hospital and spent a few days there. When I came home, David had convinced me that his behaviour was due to our debts that had mounted up since we had been together so in a way, I felt responsible for the way he was reacting to different situations. I spoke to my father about our debts and he helped pay a lot of them off which in turn helped our relationship. I then felt it must have been all the worry of our debts on his mind. When things got better, we decided to get married in June 1996. Things improved for a short time.

David had always drank ever since I’d known him but his drinking seemed to be getting out of control and he was going out almost on a nightly basis, drinking very heavily, he seemed quite dependant on alcohol. When he drank he got angry and would pick arguments with me frequently. I was working 50-60 hours a week to help pay for the bills but then he would complain that I worked too much and that the house was always too untidy. He would go out drinking and insist that I went too. I wasn’t happy about this but it was easier to go to save the arguments. I would then get back and panic about any mess in the house so I would stay up late cleaning but then would have to be up early for work. I felt so exhausted.

The more David drank, the more abusive he became. Eventually the emotional and mental abuse turned to physical abuse. I thought this was because of alcohol but through time he became violent even when sober. I felt so weak, vulnerable and depressed. I had no control over my life anymore.I got pregnant and thought the violence would end but it continued. I felt I had lost all my self-esteem. I told David I was going to leave him on several occasions but he would always say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I’ll change”, and I believed him. I would feel sorry for him and try again. Even though I wanted to go, I thought, “Where could I go? What will I do?”The Violence continued even as our son grew older, going to school etc. On one occasion, my neighbours called the police when they heard David hitting me and I was screaming. The police came and removed David from our house. He still harassed our son and me but I didn’t tell anybody. I tried again, but nothing changed.

In February this year (2006), David assaulted me again but this time I had had enough. The police removed David and I called ‘Women’s Aid’ for help. They helped me to find hostel accommodation with The Haven Wolverhampton. When I arrived at The Haven I was welcomed by staff and shown around. I met other people living at the hostel who had suffered domestic violence and I found it a comfort. There has always been a stigma attached to hostels, within society, so I was quite worried about what I was going to be faced with but I found it the opposite of what I expected. The staff and residents were friendly and I felt safe. The staff helped me fill out any relevant paper work the next day when I had settled in and I was offered counselling also. My Son and I are trying to rebuild our lives now. We have applied for housing and are just waiting for our new home. My son has enjoyed playing with other children in the playroom at the Haven. With the help from the staff, he is now in a new school and loves it!

My key worker at The Haven did a plan with me when I arrived and we are aiming to reach my goals every day. I am a happier person in myself. In the hostel, I have talked to many people who have suffered domestic violence and I have realised that I had lost my identity. Now I am slowly but surely rebuilding my life, self-esteem and confidence, with help from The Haven and my friends, I now can look forward to a brighter future with my son.

Consent has been gained from the individual to publish this story.

The Haven Wolverhampton
June 2006